Riding the Emotional Seesaw: A Caregiver’s Perspective

Caregiving often feels like living on an emotional seesaw, with its constant highs and lows. The small victories, like a shared smile or a peaceful moment, can lift you up. But the lows? They can leave you feeling completely paralyzed.

On those low days, the weight of worry, exhaustion, and fear is overwhelming. The simplest tasks—folding clothes, feeding the animals, or even eating—feel insurmountable. You want to keep going, but your energy is drained, leaving you stuck in a fog of inaction.

The Highs

The highs in caregiving bring hope. When Tracy and I experience a good day, it feels like the sun breaking through the clouds. She eats a meal without hesitation, or we laugh about something that feels like "us" again. These moments remind us why we keep going, giving us just enough strength to face whatever comes next.

The Lows

But the lows… they’re different. They come without warning, like a weight pressing down on my chest. On those days, I feel incapable of doing even the basics. The farm chores pile up, the laundry goes untouched, and food? I can’t even think about eating. It’s not just physical exhaustion—it’s emotional depletion.

It’s hard not to feel guilty in these moments. I tell myself I should be able to push through, to keep moving. But I’ve realized that being frozen in the lows doesn’t mean I’m failing—it’s my body and soul crying out for rest.

What Helps on Low Days

While the lows are tough, I’ve started to embrace small practices that help me climb out of the fog. These aren’t about fixing the problem but about making space to breathe and reset:

1. The Pause App and 30 Days Towards Resilient: On my hardest days, this app has been a lifeline. The 1- and 3-minute guided meditations create a space where I can pause, breathe, and reconnect with God’s presence. Tracy and I are also working through the 30 Days Towards Resilient program, and it’s been a game-changer. The daily reflections remind us that resilience isn’t about always being strong—it’s about leaning on God and taking small steps forward, even when we feel paralyzed. Explore the Pause App here.
2. Lowering the Bar: When I feel stuck, I remind myself it’s okay to do the bare minimum. Maybe I can’t do all the farm chores, but I can feed the animals. Maybe folding clothes feels impossible, but I can throw a load in the wash. Small actions can break the cycle of paralysis.
3. Compassion for Myself: I’ve learned to extend the same compassion to myself that I would to someone else. If a friend were struggling, I wouldn’t demand they push through. I’d tell them to rest, to breathe, to let go of guilt. So I try to offer that kindness to myself.

Embracing the Seesaw

The emotional seesaw is part of caregiving—both the highs and the lows. I’m learning to stop fighting the downswings and instead meet them with grace. It’s okay to feel paralyzed. It’s okay to let go of what I can’t do today. What matters is showing up as best I can, even if that just means pausing to catch my breath.

If you’re navigating similar struggles, know you’re not alone. The lows don’t define you, and even the smallest steps forward are victories. On the hard days, give yourself permission to rest, to breathe, and to trust that better moments will come.